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<title>so let’s take a break for today by jisungtinydick</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27631064">so let’s take a break for today</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jisungtinydick/pseuds/jisungtinydick'>jisungtinydick</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Panic Attacks, he better be taking care of himself rn, i kept thinking about woozi saying he feels burdened and got sad and made this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:15:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27631064</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jisungtinydick/pseuds/jisungtinydick</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>'The realisation that he’s dragging the entire group down hits him in the chest and all he can feel is guilt.'</p><p>Jihoon pushes himself to his limits and it all gets a little too much</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>so let’s take a break for today</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jihoon slams his hands on the table, right next to his keyboard and he lets out a frustrated grunt. He’s still working in the studio at god knows what in the morning, his only indication of the time being the inky-black sky painting his windows. Normally he doesn’t stay working this long, going back home to the dorms for a good night’s rest so he’s ready for their packed schedule the next day; today has just been different.</p><p>He’s been at this fucking song for <em>hours</em>, deleting and rerecording bits over and over again because none of it is coming out the way he wants and he’s so close to completely losing his mind. Jihoon absolutely loves producing, there’s no doubt that he lives for his music but sometimes sitting down and becoming Woozi drains him so awfully that he feels like screaming. If he were in a rational headspace right now, he would understand this was a normal thing that happens to everyone and it’s all okay; the only thing is, he’s not in a rational headspace.</p><p>The group had barely just finished the <em>HOME;RUN</em> promotions and although carats have let him know they enjoy the song and the whole album, he can’t help but feel like he could have done so much better. Especially with how amazing the choreography had been, he felt like he’d brought the performances down with his mediocre producing. He can’t let that happen with their next title track, but with the way it’s going, it looks like next time is just going to be <em>worse</em>.</p><p>Being Seventeen’s main producer puts a lot of pressure on his shoulders, and he always blames himself if they don’t get a win for a song – it forces him into these really low moods that always scare the other members. He’ll shut himself out completely, not eating unless someone else shoves food into his mouth and literally moves his jaw for him so he chews and swallows. During their debut days, it had gotten so bad that he actually passed out in the middle of the dorm, seemingly out of nowhere. The members have never let him get to that point again.</p><p><em>HOME;RUN</em> had scored more than one music show win, but they could have gotten <em>more</em>, maybe if he’d made it better, spent a few more hours trying to improve every bar until he was 100% satisfied with each second. <em>Home</em> had won ten times, so clearly he was slacking off lately – he stopped allowing himself to take time off – he couldn’t disappoint his members and their fans. Currently, that approach is proving to fail as well because he hasn’t left the seat in front of his computer in almost twenty-four hours and all he’s achieved is a cramp in his neck, a headache, and a horrible song that remains unfinished.</p><p>The realisation that he’s dragging the entire group down hits him in the chest and all he can feel is <em>guilt</em>. He looks up at his screen to hopefully do something useful for once but the colourful blocks on the software he’s using start to blur together and Jihoon has no fucking clue what’s going on. When he moves his head to the right, it hurts terribly and the neon sign that normally reads <em>"WOOZI'S ROOM"</em> is just a big blotch of purple stained onto the wall. What the fuck?</p><p>Collapsing to the floor when he tries to stand up, legs too wobbly to function, he notices the small trails of water that are sticking uncomfortably to his face. His chest tightens and his hands are shaking and he’s <em>dying</em>. Or at least, it sure fucking feels like it. This is karma for making such shitty songs for his group and now he’s not going to get the chance to prove himself again. The breaths he’s letting out are short and erratic, but he tries his hardest to crawl over to the sofa on the other side of the room, where his phone is. He has to stop halfway through to grasp onto the collar of his shirt because it’s suddenly suffocating him.</p><p>It’s all so scary and all he can do is stay uselessly on the floor in the middle of his studio, walls cramming in on him and his heart beating way too fast and he's going to fucking <em>die</em> without even having seen his members all day. He sobs harder, head pressed into his knees. His own breathing has become incredibly loud and there’s this ringing in his ears, so he doesn’t hear the door click open or the footsteps rushing towards him.</p><p>A voice cuts through all the screeching surrounding his head and it’s a lot nicer than anything he’s heard the whole day, so he focuses on the sound, not yet able to make out the words being said. “Hey, hey buddy,” he understands that – those are words that make sense to him. “Do you think you can handle me touching you or do you just want me to speak?” He can’t answer verbally, his mouth too preoccupied with frantic breathing but he needs whoever’s there to physically ground him, so he aimlessly grabs his hand out and searches through his fuzzy vision for something of the other to grasp on to.</p><p>His fingers brush against something soft, it feels like clothes, probably a hoodie. Immediately, they clasp onto the material, hard. “Okay, that’s great. You’re doing so well, Jihoon, everything’s okay buddy,” the voice is warm and his body loosens up at the encouragement, his chest stops hurting as much and his next breath lasts longer, though it’s a little shaky. Tears still spill from the corner of his eyes but they’re not as frequent – he’s not dying.</p><p>There’s a hand with a tissue in it wiping his cheeks and Jihoon falls into the body in front of him, completely exhausted. He starts dry coughing and the other picks him up, placing him on the sofa and takes the bottle of water he had left by his computer, letting Jihoon drink from it by himself. It takes him a couple of minutes to come back to normal and when he blinks his eyes open, this time his vision clear, he sees Seungcheol smiling tenderly at him.</p><p>“What the fuck just happened to me?” he hardly recognises his own voice, sounding more like gravel than the sweet tone he has when singing. He gulps down some more water.</p><p>Seungcheol sits down beside him, reaching his arm out and wrapping it around Jihoon’s back, pulling him close so that they’re cuddling. He doesn’t show much skinship on camera but he likes this. “I think you had a panic attack,” the older says seriously, but not in a way that scares him. “I knew I should’ve come to take you back to the dorms ages ago but you looked like you really wanted to keep working when I walked in earlier.” He hadn’t even seen the leader come into his studio, so caught up in producing.</p><p>“Oh,” is all he can muster up as a reply before he falls asleep in Seungcheol’s arms.</p>
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